A dream

In a night of fitful sleep - I was waking up, drifiting to sleep - I had a dream with Rachel. Her and me and her mom were in a van driving. They were in the front seats and chatting back and forth and I was in the backmost seat of the van. The intervening seats were removed. It was like our old Sienna but more like an old VW van inside - there were more and bigger windows.

Nancy stopped the car and got out. Rachel got up and started picking up empty paper bags from the van floor. I looked by my feet and there were two labeled Sav-A-Lot and Rachel said "Ooooo, I'll get the Sav-A-Lot bags because we're at Sav-A-Lot". And we both laughed.

Then I said, "Rachel. You're here!" and she smiled at me at and said, "Yes - I'm here". And Nancy was back in the van and I said, "Nancy, Rachel's here!" and she smiled and Rachel smiled at me. She got down on her knees and I held her hands from my van seat and said it again. "You're here!" and I said, "I've missed you so much" and she said "I've missed you too". She was wearing a pink top and some white pants.

I hugged her and started crying on her shoulder. I could see my tears on her neck and clinging her hair. "I've missed you so much" and she said "I've missed you too, Daddy".

Then I said "Nancy, Rachel's here", and she said "No John, she's not." Looked at me funny and said, "Have you been drinking?" and I thought and said no. And then she was gone.